I realise I haven't posted anything on here since last Monday but I have not had anything to say for myself since then. I think the idea of doing a daily blog was a task I wasn't yet up to, and also the fact that I asked myself who wants to read a daily blog of someone who really has nothing more to offer than his (dare I say it) boring work life! Maybe its as much the people I work with as it is me.
So, in reaching a decision about this, I have decided to revert to just blogging as and when I feel the need and have something a bit more substantial to say.
For the time being, here are the highlights of the last week in my life;
Tuesday and Wednesday were misnomers to be frank, as I was ill on both days; all I did on these days was languish in bed. I went back to work on Thursday but it was a slight case of getting my head down, do the work, and come home only to start the whole process over again the next day.
I had been elected to present a quiz to my team on Friday morning, so with pen in hand I noted down some questions from the BBC show Eggheads, and ITV's The Chase.
Altogether I drafted 15 questions of a varied nature, hoping that some of them, at least, would prove easy enough for my team mates (or the majority of) to answer. In some ways I was wrong to think in these terms because as it turned out they proved a little on the hard side in the main.
I was surprised that only one of the team was able to answer the question Who is the lead actor in BBC1's Not Going Out? I often wonder if I watch too much television or that I watch too many things that just don't appeal to the people I work with, i.e. younger by between 10 and 20 years. It might actually mean that with the years I have on my colleagues is an advantage in quiz terms (as long as its TV and music that is). For any of you who haven't seen 'Not Going Out' the answer to the question above is Lee Mack. I might also point out the show has endured four very funny seasons; so I was somewhat surprised to hear some of my team mates say they had never heard of it. My jaw dropped to the floor with a resounding thwack at this revelation; oh well, their loss!
On Saturday I decided to re-ignite my love for (and attempts at) reworking songs from the 80's into my own vision of an Extended Mix. These are just for pleasure and nothing else. I have found many sites on the Internet where these 'Fan' mixes reside. The best ones sound really good and as professional as if completed by a studio technician; I have been lucky enough to complete one or two that sound OK but still not to their standards' oh well my loss!
Sunday was spent at my parents, chatting (about nothing in particular), having Sunday dinner and chatting some more. My parents both have a great sense of humour and that makes it easy to crack jokes and generally have a good time; Its great having parents that are open to jokes, even though some of them are a bit racey. I'm not saying we spend our time together telling each other rude jokes but a little bit of risque humour shouldn't be dismissed as filth, because its not, its harmless and good natured.
My mum has the ability to say daft things without realising and I think that is where I gained my own sense of humour from; its also where i gleaned most of the jokes from when i did five minutes of stand up in April 2011. At one point in the proceedings my dad said he was told by doctors he had an "abnormality at the back of his head", and without hesitation my mum jumped in with "its called his wife". I was surprised at the speed of her response but it was one of the funniest things I have ever heard her say, and you know what (in the words of Droopy) that makes me happy!
Rambling, Ranting and Reviewing.
Monday, 23 January 2012
Wednesday, 18 January 2012
Whooping and Cheering causes Coughing and Jeering
The Health Protection Agency has today confirmed that cases
of whooping and cheering are on the rise.
A report has found that people in their own homes that take it upon themselves to make these noises whilst watching their favourite reality shows are more likely to contract symptoms not unlike those found in children suffering from whooping cough.
Since the advent of the ‘red button’ audience participation has been steadily growing. It is now believed that these levels are now at an all time high.
A spokesman for Guerillascope, the agency that processes the overnight viewing figures suggested that this is the first time they have seen these figures in this quantity since Big Brother began in 1999. The spokesman also suggested that “with the arrival of newer programmes such as Desperate Scousewives and Made inChelsea
In a bold move to contain this outbreak of the condition, GPs have been instructed to issue patients complaining of the disorder with prescriptions of Eastenders to be taken three times weekly, with one added omnibus, in extreme cases. “This is the only course of action we can recommend at this time”, said Dr Legg ofAlbert Square
The reality show makers are well aware of the hysteria their programmes create but they have no way of stopping it until their contracts run out.
The head of ITV was quoted as saying “without this interaction we could not survive another season of The Only Way is Essex, or Desperate Scousewives. As it is the majority of our viewers find it difficult to comprehend anything that resembles a real plot”
A report has found that people in their own homes that take it upon themselves to make these noises whilst watching their favourite reality shows are more likely to contract symptoms not unlike those found in children suffering from whooping cough.
Since the advent of the ‘red button’ audience participation has been steadily growing. It is now believed that these levels are now at an all time high.
A spokesman for Guerillascope, the agency that processes the overnight viewing figures suggested that this is the first time they have seen these figures in this quantity since Big Brother began in 1999. The spokesman also suggested that “with the arrival of newer programmes such as Desperate Scousewives and Made in
In a bold move to contain this outbreak of the condition, GPs have been instructed to issue patients complaining of the disorder with prescriptions of Eastenders to be taken three times weekly, with one added omnibus, in extreme cases. “This is the only course of action we can recommend at this time”, said Dr Legg of
The reality show makers are well aware of the hysteria their programmes create but they have no way of stopping it until their contracts run out.
The head of ITV was quoted as saying “without this interaction we could not survive another season of The Only Way is Essex, or Desperate Scousewives. As it is the majority of our viewers find it difficult to comprehend anything that resembles a real plot”
Monday, 16 January 2012
Monday 16th Jan - Charlie & The Film Factory
Like all human beings I am a creature of habit. For at least the last 5 years I have reserved Monday lunch times for my weekly dose of cynicism courtesy of one Mr Charlie Brooker. What I love the most about Charlie Brooker's weekly Guardian column is that almost nothing escapes his barbed view; he has the same outlook on life as me and that's why I enjoy the way he expresses himself. I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate me saying this but he just seems to say what i'm thinking. It's fair to say I was brought up in a house full of cynicism, which mainly stems from my dad; not a bad person to get it from to be honest! He was a major influence in my world view, and the cynicism gradually became part of my outlook on life. I have tried to move away from viewing the world in this way but once I latched onto Charlie Brooker it all came flooding back! I guess its just a flaw in my personality; I'm glad its not just me but I also realise its probably got something to do with the fact that myself and Charlie are exactly the same age bar for 3 days, which he holds over me.
In this week's column Charlie looked at ways to save the British film industry. I shan't attempt to condense this down, no i'll let you read it for yourselves;
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/jan/15/charlie-brooker-british-film
Suffice to say, he makes for a great argument against the way David Cameron believes the British Film industry should move forward.
As for the rest of today, there was a real lack of conversation in the office; that, of course could be down to the fact of how much work we had to do today. I was asked to tell a few jokes today but in a lot of ways i wish i hadn't; some people are less receptive to jokes than others! And they do say comedy is subjective. The jokes I told are my own, so maybe that had something to do with it. I'll let you be the judge...
Joke 1- Russell Brand has followed up his Bookey Wook with My Divorcey Worce...Katy Perry is thrilled to be getting the only signed copy!
Joke 2 - I read that 1/3rd of children in Italy are overweight...Just one Cornetto obviously isnt enough!
I am at home as I write this and am currently watching The One Griff; a one-off stand up and sketch show dedicated to Griff Rhys Jones. The sketch I am watching right now is about the office worker who can only talk about football, while his colleague has no interest in it whatsoever...I completely relate to this as I am one of those men who does not care one jot about football.
(In the words of Charlie Brooker) now go away!
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In this week's column Charlie looked at ways to save the British film industry. I shan't attempt to condense this down, no i'll let you read it for yourselves;
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/jan/15/charlie-brooker-british-film
Suffice to say, he makes for a great argument against the way David Cameron believes the British Film industry should move forward.
As for the rest of today, there was a real lack of conversation in the office; that, of course could be down to the fact of how much work we had to do today. I was asked to tell a few jokes today but in a lot of ways i wish i hadn't; some people are less receptive to jokes than others! And they do say comedy is subjective. The jokes I told are my own, so maybe that had something to do with it. I'll let you be the judge...
Joke 1- Russell Brand has followed up his Bookey Wook with My Divorcey Worce...Katy Perry is thrilled to be getting the only signed copy!
Joke 2 - I read that 1/3rd of children in Italy are overweight...Just one Cornetto obviously isnt enough!
I am at home as I write this and am currently watching The One Griff; a one-off stand up and sketch show dedicated to Griff Rhys Jones. The sketch I am watching right now is about the office worker who can only talk about football, while his colleague has no interest in it whatsoever...I completely relate to this as I am one of those men who does not care one jot about football.
(In the words of Charlie Brooker) now go away!
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Sunday, 15 January 2012
Saturday 14th Jan - A Devil of a Fist of Fun
This morning I woke up at around 9am. I have never really taken to early mornings at the weekend but when you don't sleep very well and awake before 10am I think that counts as a lie-in.
Rather than just get up out of bed, I decided to sit and read for an hour or so. At the moment I am reading a novel by one of the writers of the BBC series Sherlock, Mark Gatiss. The novel is called The Devil In Amber and although I am only 60 pages into it I am really enjoying it. It centres on a character called Lucifer Box, and is set in the 1920s. Lucifer Box is a charismatic spy who has been ordered to infiltrate the fascist organisation FAUST. As a long time fan, I have enjoyed his work, from The League of Gentlemen, Dr Who, and now Sherlock. I also enjoyed the BBC Radio 4 series Nebulous, which he starred in a few years ago, written by another favourite, Graham Duff.
At around 10 am I put my PC on, and became ensconced in the world of music blogs. I jumped from one site to another; I believe this is known as leapfrogging. As well as comedy I also have a kind of obsession for 12" singles from the 1980's. I love looking for sites of people that have done their own 12" mixes in the same style of the 80s originals. I have attempted a few of these kinds of mixes with some success. Although the people doing these 'Fan' mixes say you can use Audacity to make them and its simple and easy, I haven't found it the easiest thing in the world to do. Maybe I just haven't spent enough hours learning how to use the program first before attempting to create a mix. Having said that I have managed to do a few mixes that sound OK. Personally though I prefer to use a program called Acid, made by Sony, only for the simple reason that I have been using it for about 10 years on and off.
In the early evening I made a poor attempt at a chicken casserole from a recipe on the label of a soup can. I'm no chef and I think I'll stick to writing and reading music blogs! After that I sat back and watched a few DVDs; the first was the TV series Lee & Herring's Fist of Fun, which has only been out for a few months. It was first broadcast in 1995 and have not seen it again until now. As you may or may not know this programme was written by and starred Stewart Lee & Richard Herring. As I have become a Richard Herring convert recently I have begun to collect all of his DVDs (and books of which I have one so far). He will be visiting Swindon in the next few weeks and am really looking forward to seeing his new show What is Love Anyway. The second DVD was the first series of the Australian show Kath & Kim. We really don't get to see enough antipodean television in the UK but this was one of a handful that I am lucky enough to have seen. If you haven't seen it, it is half mockumentary and half sit-com about a mother and daughter. The daughter (Kim) is estranged from her husband and moves back in with her mother (Kath), while Kath is gradually making arrangements for her upcoming wedding to Kel, a local butcher. There is also Kim's best friend Sharon, who seems to be put upon by Kim in every way imaginable. While this programme may be seen as something that should be exclusively aimed at women I feel it has enough going for it that anyone with an understanding for good comedy can enjoy it.
currently listening to;
Rather than just get up out of bed, I decided to sit and read for an hour or so. At the moment I am reading a novel by one of the writers of the BBC series Sherlock, Mark Gatiss. The novel is called The Devil In Amber and although I am only 60 pages into it I am really enjoying it. It centres on a character called Lucifer Box, and is set in the 1920s. Lucifer Box is a charismatic spy who has been ordered to infiltrate the fascist organisation FAUST. As a long time fan, I have enjoyed his work, from The League of Gentlemen, Dr Who, and now Sherlock. I also enjoyed the BBC Radio 4 series Nebulous, which he starred in a few years ago, written by another favourite, Graham Duff.
At around 10 am I put my PC on, and became ensconced in the world of music blogs. I jumped from one site to another; I believe this is known as leapfrogging. As well as comedy I also have a kind of obsession for 12" singles from the 1980's. I love looking for sites of people that have done their own 12" mixes in the same style of the 80s originals. I have attempted a few of these kinds of mixes with some success. Although the people doing these 'Fan' mixes say you can use Audacity to make them and its simple and easy, I haven't found it the easiest thing in the world to do. Maybe I just haven't spent enough hours learning how to use the program first before attempting to create a mix. Having said that I have managed to do a few mixes that sound OK. Personally though I prefer to use a program called Acid, made by Sony, only for the simple reason that I have been using it for about 10 years on and off.
In the early evening I made a poor attempt at a chicken casserole from a recipe on the label of a soup can. I'm no chef and I think I'll stick to writing and reading music blogs! After that I sat back and watched a few DVDs; the first was the TV series Lee & Herring's Fist of Fun, which has only been out for a few months. It was first broadcast in 1995 and have not seen it again until now. As you may or may not know this programme was written by and starred Stewart Lee & Richard Herring. As I have become a Richard Herring convert recently I have begun to collect all of his DVDs (and books of which I have one so far). He will be visiting Swindon in the next few weeks and am really looking forward to seeing his new show What is Love Anyway. The second DVD was the first series of the Australian show Kath & Kim. We really don't get to see enough antipodean television in the UK but this was one of a handful that I am lucky enough to have seen. If you haven't seen it, it is half mockumentary and half sit-com about a mother and daughter. The daughter (Kim) is estranged from her husband and moves back in with her mother (Kath), while Kath is gradually making arrangements for her upcoming wedding to Kel, a local butcher. There is also Kim's best friend Sharon, who seems to be put upon by Kim in every way imaginable. While this programme may be seen as something that should be exclusively aimed at women I feel it has enough going for it that anyone with an understanding for good comedy can enjoy it.
currently listening to;
Friday 13th Jan Funny but not funny
To some people Friday the 13th can mean only one thing; bad things are bound to happen. Luckily for me I'm not superstitious and therefore it means nothing worse than any other day to me. That's not entirely true though; as far as myself and my team mates were concerned it did mean saying goodbye to one of our Senior Advisers. She has moved onto to pastures new within the company. Obviously the previous Manager of the team I work in couldn't bare to work without her, and so she has joined him at our Head office.
In order for us to commiserate this change it was decided we should all go for an Italian meal at one of the many restaurants in our town centre. I had a lovely pasta dish known as Penne Al Salmon; it literally translates as Salmon in Penne pasta. I've had it before and it was a safe bet to go for the same thing again. I like to try different things whenever I go to an Italian restaurant but it had been so long since I went for an Italian meal that I forgot. Its funny how, when it arrived on the table, it triggered the memory of the last time I had it. I told myself this was an expensive lunch but it was worth it, because I love fish and pasta. I was asked if I had any jokes to tell the team, and even though I have written a few jokes the day before I wasn't really comfortable telling them; not that i thought they were bad or rubbish but because I knew they could be funnier.
In the afternoon a few of us got onto the subject of stand up comedy, sit-coms and all things funny. It has to be said that this subject is probably my favourite talking point and one that is close to my heart. I have always prided myself on my knowledge of comedy on TV. If I was to be asked if I had any obsessions it would have to be this. Somehow I am able to recall the names of writers of TV shows, and people who write material for or with comics on various comedy panel shows. I have to admit this is more likely to be confined to the UK than other countries, such as the USA; this is only because the US tends to have pools of writers whereas in the UK this isn't really the case; much like British sit-coms, which are predominantly written by one or two people. In the case of Graham Norton, he has most of his scripts written by Will Ing and Dan Gaster. These are two people who instinctively know how to write for him. Panel shows are the only thing I know of in the UK that are written by 'Programme Associates' (seen in the credits list) as opposed to the guests and hosts themselves. Obviously in the case of Mock The Week the guests perform their own material in the stand up segments but may not necessarily write the 'gags' in the general rounds. This isn't a bad thing because it probably makes it quicker to record the show.
Currently listening to;
In order for us to commiserate this change it was decided we should all go for an Italian meal at one of the many restaurants in our town centre. I had a lovely pasta dish known as Penne Al Salmon; it literally translates as Salmon in Penne pasta. I've had it before and it was a safe bet to go for the same thing again. I like to try different things whenever I go to an Italian restaurant but it had been so long since I went for an Italian meal that I forgot. Its funny how, when it arrived on the table, it triggered the memory of the last time I had it. I told myself this was an expensive lunch but it was worth it, because I love fish and pasta. I was asked if I had any jokes to tell the team, and even though I have written a few jokes the day before I wasn't really comfortable telling them; not that i thought they were bad or rubbish but because I knew they could be funnier.
In the afternoon a few of us got onto the subject of stand up comedy, sit-coms and all things funny. It has to be said that this subject is probably my favourite talking point and one that is close to my heart. I have always prided myself on my knowledge of comedy on TV. If I was to be asked if I had any obsessions it would have to be this. Somehow I am able to recall the names of writers of TV shows, and people who write material for or with comics on various comedy panel shows. I have to admit this is more likely to be confined to the UK than other countries, such as the USA; this is only because the US tends to have pools of writers whereas in the UK this isn't really the case; much like British sit-coms, which are predominantly written by one or two people. In the case of Graham Norton, he has most of his scripts written by Will Ing and Dan Gaster. These are two people who instinctively know how to write for him. Panel shows are the only thing I know of in the UK that are written by 'Programme Associates' (seen in the credits list) as opposed to the guests and hosts themselves. Obviously in the case of Mock The Week the guests perform their own material in the stand up segments but may not necessarily write the 'gags' in the general rounds. This isn't a bad thing because it probably makes it quicker to record the show.
Currently listening to;
Thursday 11th Jan - Rock on Tommy
As you may have notice on the brief profile part of this blog (just under the picture of Count Arthur Strong) I describe myself as a 40 year old amateur writer (and I am). Due to my age I was brought up watching such TV personalities as Cannon & Ball. This leads me on to today's main topic of conversation; My colleague Tom had suggested he wanted to buy some braces. One of my female colleagues thought he meant them for his teeth, and I wondered why or even how anyone bought them for your teeth. Its not like you can just casually walk into a supermarket's Dental aisle and pick them out. Also, its not the first thing you think of when you get paid - 'my teeth look a bit crooked this morning, I must remember to buy some braces for my teeth today!' Now why anyone would want to buy braces of either kind is beyond me; they're not exactly the height of 21st century fashion (unless I missed that conversation). Anyway, in my haste to try and be funny about it I suggested that maybe he was thinking of forming a double act with someone in tribute to the British comedy duo Cannon & Ball. This, i have to say, went down quicker than a pair of trousers not being held up by said braces.
In the afternoon I came back from lunch and asked "did you miss me?" A few people said yes, to which I replied "you'll have to get a better rifle then". I'm not really known for my quick wit at work but for me that was pretty quick.
Currently listening to;
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In the afternoon I came back from lunch and asked "did you miss me?" A few people said yes, to which I replied "you'll have to get a better rifle then". I'm not really known for my quick wit at work but for me that was pretty quick.
Currently listening to;
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Thursday, 12 January 2012
Wednesday 11th Jan - Dead or Alive
Remember what I said yesterday? You cant tell me youve forgotten already...even I cant remember what I said yesterday! Nah, only joking. What I said was tomorrow is a new day or some such nonsense. What a daft saying that is, of course tomorrow is another day, unless you're Bill Murray in Groundhog Day; saying that, every day feels the same really. The daily grind secures that feeling. I don't know about the rest of you but between the getting up in the morning, the going to work, the going home, and the going to bed, it just feels like you go through the same boring process for far too long. Anyway while I'm here I may as well let you know what happened, and who said what to whom today.
There were a few of those questions asked that serve as a connundrum for us all; you know the ones I mean, the would you rather have this or that variety. I fail to remember any of them but they were along the same lines as Snog, Marry, Avoid.
The one question I was really interested in was the one about which band or artist I wished I'd seen live. This was a two part question based on living and/or dead. This a very difficult question when you have such a large music collection, and my first answer to the still living part was a little known (to most people) British Indie band from the 1980s called The Bolshoi; still living because none of the members of the band have died yet. I hold this band in very esteem as they were the first band that really captured my imagination. The cynical nature of Trevor Tanner's lyrics spoke to me in a way no other band had as a 15 year old. As for dead my answer was Jimi Hendrix; being most music fans first guitar hero, and arguably the worlds greatest exponent of the electric guitar, it went without saying.
In the news today was an article about a woman that has decided to move her pony into her living room as she cant find suitable stables for it in the winter months. I said to someone about this and they said maybe she was looking for something bigger than the rabbit in her bedroom!
Currently listening to;
There were a few of those questions asked that serve as a connundrum for us all; you know the ones I mean, the would you rather have this or that variety. I fail to remember any of them but they were along the same lines as Snog, Marry, Avoid.
The one question I was really interested in was the one about which band or artist I wished I'd seen live. This was a two part question based on living and/or dead. This a very difficult question when you have such a large music collection, and my first answer to the still living part was a little known (to most people) British Indie band from the 1980s called The Bolshoi; still living because none of the members of the band have died yet. I hold this band in very esteem as they were the first band that really captured my imagination. The cynical nature of Trevor Tanner's lyrics spoke to me in a way no other band had as a 15 year old. As for dead my answer was Jimi Hendrix; being most music fans first guitar hero, and arguably the worlds greatest exponent of the electric guitar, it went without saying.
In the news today was an article about a woman that has decided to move her pony into her living room as she cant find suitable stables for it in the winter months. I said to someone about this and they said maybe she was looking for something bigger than the rabbit in her bedroom!
Currently listening to;
Tuesday 10th Jan - Nothing to see here!
Some days I feel at odds with the world, and no matter how hard I try I cant seem to find it in me to interact with people; is this a deep rooted problem? I don't think so. I think there is a need, at one time or other, for us all to just immerse ourselves in our own little worlds. Plus the fact I didn't sleep well the previous night and that causes tension in your own head which puts a barrier up between me and the rest of the world. Ah well, its not a permanent state of mind and that must be a good thing! Anyway, if a 40 year old can't once in a while feel at odds with the world then when can he, eh?
So, apart from the mountain of work to get through Nothing really happened today.
There was the usual chit chat in the office but I was lost to its allure. Tomorrow is another day as they say and it can only get better.
So, apart from the mountain of work to get through Nothing really happened today.
There was the usual chit chat in the office but I was lost to its allure. Tomorrow is another day as they say and it can only get better.
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
Monday 9th Jan - Credit Cards & King of Idiots
Years ago, I was working in a department of the company I currently work for that catered for the opening and administration of Credit Cards. I was a fairly young then and thought I could be clever and a show off a bit.
This showing off took the form of me writing something at the bottom of my email and letter correspondence; at the time of calling myself King Of Credit Cards, I was blissfully unaware of what it could spell if it was written in the form of an acronym, KOCC, and then re-arranged.
One day I was sitting at my desk, waiting for a return email from a colleague (and OK, it wasn't work related...I know, what a rebel!). When said email arrived at my inbox, I opened it and my friend had re-arranged the words King Of Credit Cards and turned it into Cards Of Credit King; it was then that it dawned on me. After that I swiftly removed this moniker from my emails. You could say I felt like a Dithering Idiot Creating Kings! The memory of those long lost days was triggered when the colleague I currently sit next to started talking about the credit card department. I'd forgotten about it until then.
Currently listening to;
This showing off took the form of me writing something at the bottom of my email and letter correspondence; at the time of calling myself King Of Credit Cards, I was blissfully unaware of what it could spell if it was written in the form of an acronym, KOCC, and then re-arranged.
One day I was sitting at my desk, waiting for a return email from a colleague (and OK, it wasn't work related...I know, what a rebel!). When said email arrived at my inbox, I opened it and my friend had re-arranged the words King Of Credit Cards and turned it into Cards Of Credit King; it was then that it dawned on me. After that I swiftly removed this moniker from my emails. You could say I felt like a Dithering Idiot Creating Kings! The memory of those long lost days was triggered when the colleague I currently sit next to started talking about the credit card department. I'd forgotten about it until then.
Currently listening to;
Sunday 8th Jan 2012 Sherlock and the steriliser
This particular Sunday was a fortnightly visit to my parents. My brother and me go to their house for lunch and an afternoon of chit chat. We catch up with them and find out what has been happening with their neighbours, and my mum normally regales us with past moments and stories from her life. Not one visit goes past without her telling us about some uncle or auntie from her family. I have now lost count of the amount of uncles she's had. It got to the point now where i think she may be making them up; although they are always entertaining little gems of her family history.
On a previous visit, my mum told me about her uncle Reg who worked for a rubber factory in the week and was a nightclub bouncer at the weekend.
For some reason this week she raised the subject of sterilisation. Don't ask me how we got there, its just the sort of thing mothers (of a certain age) seem to end up talking about; or it is if you're my mother, anyway.
I always end up making wise cracks at most things she says, and this was no exception. I said I don't like the idea of having to sit my balls in a pan of boiling water for three minutes to stop me from having kids. It got a laugh but not for the reasons id intended.
Well, it got to five o'clock in the evening and it was time to go home. Myself and my brother are both big TV watchers (ours is only 32" though). We have been watching the new series of Sherlock starring Benedict Cumberbatch. That was the highlight of our TV viewing for the whole weekend, and it didn't disappoint. Bringing the stories of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is as bold an undertaking as any of the BBC's Charles Dickens adaptations. The three things they have on their side for 21st century Sherlock is the writing team of Mark Gatiss, Steven Moffat and Jeremy Dyson; all seasoned professionals when it comes to this sort of thing. Having co-created this version with Steven Moffat, Mark Gatiss is really beginning to shine through as one of the UK's greatest modern storyteller. Having written some great episodes for Doctor Who as well, it is in many ways due to his excellent scripts that this series of Sherlock is getting the praise it deserves.
Back to work tomorrow, another Monday in the workhouse!
On a previous visit, my mum told me about her uncle Reg who worked for a rubber factory in the week and was a nightclub bouncer at the weekend.
For some reason this week she raised the subject of sterilisation. Don't ask me how we got there, its just the sort of thing mothers (of a certain age) seem to end up talking about; or it is if you're my mother, anyway.
I always end up making wise cracks at most things she says, and this was no exception. I said I don't like the idea of having to sit my balls in a pan of boiling water for three minutes to stop me from having kids. It got a laugh but not for the reasons id intended.
Well, it got to five o'clock in the evening and it was time to go home. Myself and my brother are both big TV watchers (ours is only 32" though). We have been watching the new series of Sherlock starring Benedict Cumberbatch. That was the highlight of our TV viewing for the whole weekend, and it didn't disappoint. Bringing the stories of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is as bold an undertaking as any of the BBC's Charles Dickens adaptations. The three things they have on their side for 21st century Sherlock is the writing team of Mark Gatiss, Steven Moffat and Jeremy Dyson; all seasoned professionals when it comes to this sort of thing. Having co-created this version with Steven Moffat, Mark Gatiss is really beginning to shine through as one of the UK's greatest modern storyteller. Having written some great episodes for Doctor Who as well, it is in many ways due to his excellent scripts that this series of Sherlock is getting the praise it deserves.
Back to work tomorrow, another Monday in the workhouse!
Tuesday, 10 January 2012
Saturday 7th Jan 2012
And so then, to the weekend. What do you do on a Saturday or a Sunday? I don't know about you but , generally I like to do as little as possible; and you know what that's what I did. Its fair to say the drunken nights of debauchery and lunacy are far behind me. I have had less and less desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol for quite some time. This year I finally decided that I no longer enjoy that aspect of British culture. I realise in real terms 40 years of age is still relatively young, and most people continue well into their fifties with drinking. Well, I'm not most people and I have not enjoyed the 'sensation' of getting drunk for quite some time. I don't wish to sound like I'm getting old before my time..oh well, too late I just did!
Getting back to the daytime aspect of Saturday? I spent most of my day tidying the hard drive of my PC; this mostly consisted of deleting MP3 files of albums friends and colleagues have given me over the last few years. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't being malicious or anything, it was just a simple process of cutting the chaff from the wheat in my ever-expanding music collection. Why do I keep so much of the music I have only ever listened to once? I have asked and have been asked that numerous times and I wish I could answer that...I also transferred some downloaded TV shows onto DVD. There are some TV shows that never seem to get released on DVD, and because I like TV so much I like keeping most of those that I have managed to find floating around the net; things like Beast starring Alexander Armstrong, from about ten years ago. And that is about the size of Saturday 8th Jan 2012.
Getting back to the daytime aspect of Saturday? I spent most of my day tidying the hard drive of my PC; this mostly consisted of deleting MP3 files of albums friends and colleagues have given me over the last few years. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't being malicious or anything, it was just a simple process of cutting the chaff from the wheat in my ever-expanding music collection. Why do I keep so much of the music I have only ever listened to once? I have asked and have been asked that numerous times and I wish I could answer that...I also transferred some downloaded TV shows onto DVD. There are some TV shows that never seem to get released on DVD, and because I like TV so much I like keeping most of those that I have managed to find floating around the net; things like Beast starring Alexander Armstrong, from about ten years ago. And that is about the size of Saturday 8th Jan 2012.
Saturday, 7 January 2012
06 Jan 2012 - Man in a van
Here we again then, another day and another entry in the continuing life of an amateur writer.
Something I've always remembered from my childhood is the phrase 'there's always someone worse off than yourself'. This is certainly true of the story I am about to share with you all now; and for the purposes of this it has been necessary for me to leave out all personal information, such as names or places, etc.
Part of my job is to contact customers who have not informed us of a recent house move. We find many cases of people who just haven't got round to it, others for altogether different reasons; in the case of a young man whom I spoke to this morning, the reasons couldn't have seemed much worse if he was making it up (which of course he could have been but I doubt it).
After id made initial contact with the customer and gone through the usual 'security' checks he began to tell me what has happened to him since April 2011; not only had be been made redundant from his job, he was then involved in a car accident, in which he broke his jaw in two places, broke his right leg, and when you thought things couldn't be any bleaker, he also incurred a detached retina.
As if that wasn't bad enough, he had more to come. He continued to tell me that just four months ago some awful human being, if they can be called that...human being not awful (that's a given), decided it would be a good idea to set fire to the poor young man's house; you could say this added insult to injury. The most unfair thing about all of this has meant not only does he have no money coming in he also now has no home to go to at night. I'll be honest, I felt ever so guilty asking his reasons for not informing us of his change of address after he'd told me all this. The other sad thing about his situation is that his long term partner left him whilst all this was going on. Sadder still is the fact that, because he has no home and no partner to go home to he finds himself living and sleeping in a van; not even his parents are able to help or even accommodate him for the time being. So, next time you think you don't have enough of something material spare a thought for the homeless of this world.
Onto a lighter note, i'd like to follow up yesterday's funny name item with this; to be fair its not exactly funny but it made me smile; todays name, Mr T Booker. It made me wonder if he owned more than one MG and liked Green onions! (do you see what I did there?)
Currently listening to;
Something I've always remembered from my childhood is the phrase 'there's always someone worse off than yourself'. This is certainly true of the story I am about to share with you all now; and for the purposes of this it has been necessary for me to leave out all personal information, such as names or places, etc.
Part of my job is to contact customers who have not informed us of a recent house move. We find many cases of people who just haven't got round to it, others for altogether different reasons; in the case of a young man whom I spoke to this morning, the reasons couldn't have seemed much worse if he was making it up (which of course he could have been but I doubt it).
After id made initial contact with the customer and gone through the usual 'security' checks he began to tell me what has happened to him since April 2011; not only had be been made redundant from his job, he was then involved in a car accident, in which he broke his jaw in two places, broke his right leg, and when you thought things couldn't be any bleaker, he also incurred a detached retina.
As if that wasn't bad enough, he had more to come. He continued to tell me that just four months ago some awful human being, if they can be called that...human being not awful (that's a given), decided it would be a good idea to set fire to the poor young man's house; you could say this added insult to injury. The most unfair thing about all of this has meant not only does he have no money coming in he also now has no home to go to at night. I'll be honest, I felt ever so guilty asking his reasons for not informing us of his change of address after he'd told me all this. The other sad thing about his situation is that his long term partner left him whilst all this was going on. Sadder still is the fact that, because he has no home and no partner to go home to he finds himself living and sleeping in a van; not even his parents are able to help or even accommodate him for the time being. So, next time you think you don't have enough of something material spare a thought for the homeless of this world.
Onto a lighter note, i'd like to follow up yesterday's funny name item with this; to be fair its not exactly funny but it made me smile; todays name, Mr T Booker. It made me wonder if he owned more than one MG and liked Green onions! (do you see what I did there?)
Currently listening to;
Friday, 6 January 2012
Thursday 5th Jan 2012 (Titanic and other water based chats)
So, day two of my daily efforts to recount the day in the life of an office dog (or customer advisor as I like to be known) starts at lunch time with a conversation about icebergs and the Titanic.
A colleague of mine entered the office with the remark "its OK everyone I'm back" to which I responded "thank goodness for that, for one horrible moment I thought we'd reached Titanic sized panic levels and was about to man the life boats". I then suggested that if it were to happen again we should all keep a lighter handy, just so we can melt that damned iceberg to hell. I realise that if that were to happen it would be much quicker if we had an industrial sized lighter. That would definitely deal with an ice cube of that magnitude.
Other topics of conversation I overheard more than actually participated included what sounded like the idea that men are better at most things than women; not an ideal I personally subscribe to.
In my line of work I see a lot of correspondence from customers, who sometimes have unusual or funny names; not funny for them I suspect but we have a chortle or two at their expense. Today's name of the day would have to be Sari Watt. I thought I read it right first time but then I asked someone to repeat it back to me (sounds like Sorry, what?).
I listened in to a conversation between two young colleagues about sexual fantasies; not really a topic I tend to either listen in to or take part in, I must admit, but this did seem to go on for some considerable time and I found myself tuned in to it; in the end the girl driving the line of questioning to her young male colleague asked that old old question "would you dress up in uniforms i.e. doctors and nurses?" to which he replied a hesitant "maybe".
It may be just me but I'm not sure i really understand the desire to dress up like members of the health service; it all seems a little too clinical to me.
Lets see what I can regale you with tomorrow; until then, goodbye for now.
A colleague of mine entered the office with the remark "its OK everyone I'm back" to which I responded "thank goodness for that, for one horrible moment I thought we'd reached Titanic sized panic levels and was about to man the life boats". I then suggested that if it were to happen again we should all keep a lighter handy, just so we can melt that damned iceberg to hell. I realise that if that were to happen it would be much quicker if we had an industrial sized lighter. That would definitely deal with an ice cube of that magnitude.
Other topics of conversation I overheard more than actually participated included what sounded like the idea that men are better at most things than women; not an ideal I personally subscribe to.
In my line of work I see a lot of correspondence from customers, who sometimes have unusual or funny names; not funny for them I suspect but we have a chortle or two at their expense. Today's name of the day would have to be Sari Watt. I thought I read it right first time but then I asked someone to repeat it back to me (sounds like Sorry, what?).
I listened in to a conversation between two young colleagues about sexual fantasies; not really a topic I tend to either listen in to or take part in, I must admit, but this did seem to go on for some considerable time and I found myself tuned in to it; in the end the girl driving the line of questioning to her young male colleague asked that old old question "would you dress up in uniforms i.e. doctors and nurses?" to which he replied a hesitant "maybe".
It may be just me but I'm not sure i really understand the desire to dress up like members of the health service; it all seems a little too clinical to me.
Lets see what I can regale you with tomorrow; until then, goodbye for now.
Thursday, 5 January 2012
Wednesday 04 Dec 2012
Hi folks, and welcome to my first attempt at what I hope to make a daily blog.
I have been following the daily blogs of the comedian Richard Herring over the last two years and thought I might attempt to follow in his footsteps. Obviously I cant follow in his footsteps as far as longevity goes but I am confident that I can add something, however large or small to this blog on a daily basis; of course, knowing me, it'll start like that for a few weeks before it inevitably declines to every couple of days, then once a week, before eventually ending up as once a month. There, see, undermining myself already, stop this now Dave before it goes too far, and I don't write anything of merit in the process.
So, folks, here goes;
For the first time this year I ventured into, and bought, items from a charity shop. For anyone reading this that knows me, you'll know I have a love for buying CDs (from anywhere not just charity shops). The reason isn't that I cant afford them from major retailers, merely that I live in hope that I may find something new, exciting and original to add to my ever-growing collection; oh, and I get to give to charity, which is a fair exchange don't you think?
Did I find anything today? why yes, I did. I went into the British Heart Foundation shop, where I found an original release of the OMD album Junk Culture from 1984, and a copy of the Bomb The Bass album Unknown Territory from 1991. While I was at the counter, about to pay for the CDs, the volunteer asked me if I wished to sign a petition which they are hoping to put forward to the government, lobbying for them to make it compulsory for all schools in the United Kingdom to provide basic first aid training. I'll be honest I didn't enquire as to which age range the training would go to but I am presuming it would be in secondary (or comprehensive) schools. Coincidentally this comes at a time when the British Heart Foundation have begun to roll out new adverts for the 'No kissing, just hard CPR' campaign; a Representative for the campaign appeared on BBC Breakfast this morning, with the advert being played ahead of her interview; I'm sorry to say I didn't catch her name but what I did catch was a part of the new advert. And because I didn't catch the beginning I was under the impression it was a trailer for a new film starring the ex-footballer Vinnie Jones, only to be surprised by the fact that he was performing CPR on a man, who, at first looked as though he was going to be beaten up by Mr Jones;
I have to say, initially I found the idea of Vinnie Jones banging his clasped hands on this poor man's chest a bit disturbing, after all you'd normally associate him with inflicting pain on others not saving their lives. I guess even he is worth the benefit of the doubt, so I say arise Sir Vinnie of Jones!
Currently listening to;
I have been following the daily blogs of the comedian Richard Herring over the last two years and thought I might attempt to follow in his footsteps. Obviously I cant follow in his footsteps as far as longevity goes but I am confident that I can add something, however large or small to this blog on a daily basis; of course, knowing me, it'll start like that for a few weeks before it inevitably declines to every couple of days, then once a week, before eventually ending up as once a month. There, see, undermining myself already, stop this now Dave before it goes too far, and I don't write anything of merit in the process.
So, folks, here goes;
For the first time this year I ventured into, and bought, items from a charity shop. For anyone reading this that knows me, you'll know I have a love for buying CDs (from anywhere not just charity shops). The reason isn't that I cant afford them from major retailers, merely that I live in hope that I may find something new, exciting and original to add to my ever-growing collection; oh, and I get to give to charity, which is a fair exchange don't you think?
Did I find anything today? why yes, I did. I went into the British Heart Foundation shop, where I found an original release of the OMD album Junk Culture from 1984, and a copy of the Bomb The Bass album Unknown Territory from 1991. While I was at the counter, about to pay for the CDs, the volunteer asked me if I wished to sign a petition which they are hoping to put forward to the government, lobbying for them to make it compulsory for all schools in the United Kingdom to provide basic first aid training. I'll be honest I didn't enquire as to which age range the training would go to but I am presuming it would be in secondary (or comprehensive) schools. Coincidentally this comes at a time when the British Heart Foundation have begun to roll out new adverts for the 'No kissing, just hard CPR' campaign; a Representative for the campaign appeared on BBC Breakfast this morning, with the advert being played ahead of her interview; I'm sorry to say I didn't catch her name but what I did catch was a part of the new advert. And because I didn't catch the beginning I was under the impression it was a trailer for a new film starring the ex-footballer Vinnie Jones, only to be surprised by the fact that he was performing CPR on a man, who, at first looked as though he was going to be beaten up by Mr Jones;
I have to say, initially I found the idea of Vinnie Jones banging his clasped hands on this poor man's chest a bit disturbing, after all you'd normally associate him with inflicting pain on others not saving their lives. I guess even he is worth the benefit of the doubt, so I say arise Sir Vinnie of Jones!
Currently listening to;
Sunday, 1 January 2012
My Year 2011
I'm probably the last person in the entire world to offer up a personal review of the year, but that's the thing with me, I invariably catch up with things or miss the boat on things after everyone else has pitched up and sailed out of the port. Still, I'm going ahead with it anyway;
To be honest not a lot really happens in my life from one year to the next, and 2011 wasn't much more exciting than most...except for this;
After attending an advanced creative writing course at my local college (New College, Swindon) between September and November 2010 I was asked to join a writing group. This was made up of some of my fellow students from that course. This turned out to have two benefits; the first was the opportunity to keep in touch with the friends I had made through the course, and the second meant having the impetus to keep on writing, with an added bonus of gaining feedback on anything I'd managed to write every fortnight. I found this to be both challenging and exciting. The other thing of course was that I was able to keep up and in touch with those I consider my peers. I must also mention my tutor Mr Stephen Tuffin. I look upon this man as both amazing and great (to quote Naveed in Radio 4's Fags Mags and Bags). Without his encouragement I would probably not have continued to write. Not only is he a great teacher he is also a great storyteller. I consider it a real pleasure to know this man, and his course provided me with some brilliant advice and some very funny Wednesday evenings. Whilst at college someone told me about a writing competition I might have been interested in. As it turned out I was very interested when I learnt it was a sit-com writing competition. I had been writing one for a while (still am) and decided what the hell, I'll give it a go. The outcome wasn't positive but the experience certainly was. On reflection I can safely say I didn't write the episode I could have.
Initially I went to college to see if I was capable of keeping my newly discovered talent for writing alive; it did and I haven't looked back since. The other thing it provided was the knowledge that the things I wrote with a humorous bent were actually funny. It became clear that I could put funny things in my characters mouths and get away with (only words). This brings me to the biggest achievement of the year, if not my life;
After deliberating the cost incurred I decided I wanted to learn how to craft jokes, in order to enhance my funny stories. I've always taken a sideways view of life and signing up for a Stand up comedy course meant I could share this with the immediate world around me.
I knew what I was getting myself into but didn't really understand the full magnitude of it. In some ways I thought I'd be able to get away with learning how to craft jokes and not have to go through with the final performance part of it; however, after being on that course for the first two weeks I realised I must go through with it. It paid off in the end as you can see from the video at the bottom of this page. Again, it has to be said that without the support and friendship the course tutor (Sarah Archer) showed her students I don't think I'd have gone through with it. Its funny how, when you tell people you are going to do Stand up, the responses you get; "Oh, I couldn't do it", or "I'd rather jump out of a plane". For that reason I didn't tell anyone at work until after I'd gone through with it. I felt I could tell the members of my writing group as I somehow thought only they would take me seriously. You could say I didn't think my work colleagues would show the same confidence in me that the writing group would. They do say comedy is a serious business, and they're not wrong. It is certainly harder than people think; but not as hard as being a fireman, a nurse, a police officer or a trapeze artist.
So those are my accomplishments throughout the year. They do, of course only count for a very small part of the year. The rest of it was made up of seeing people who have already achieved most of the things they've worked towards. I am talking of course of the bands, comedians and other entertainers I have seen this year;
The first person I went to see perform was Mark Steel, in February at The Wyvern Theatre. He is without doubt one of my favourite comedians, and although I hadn't seen him live before I still knew what to expect. At the time he was touring his 'Mark Steel's in Town' show. This had worked very well for him as a Radio 4 show, and by then it was into its second series. Having listened to this show from the beginning I was under the (deluded) impression that this performance might have been recorded as part of the third series. But alas, no, that didn't turn out to be the case. Poor old Swindon, we missed out again.
What we didn't miss out on though was the appearance of punk royalty at MECA. In April one of the first bands to perform in the old bingo hall was The Buzzcocks. In my opinion they were one of the best punk bands from the original movement. They played the sort of songs you didn't expect from a punk band; songs of lost love, infidelity and Fast Cars. What more could a young man want out of a punk band? (well, apart from anarchy, and smashing the establishment, of course). Of course when I say young man I don't mean me (I was too young in 1976 and am too old now).
From May until now it seems to have been nothing but work work work. Saying that though there were a few things happening; for instance in June I was asked by my comedy tutor to do a support slot on her next showcase event. Unfortunately for me this did not go down as well as I'd hoped, and, as you can imagine my ego was slightly bruised. I wasn't deterred and tried again on an open mic night. Depending on your point of view, if my five minute showcase audience were laughing at my set you'd imagine that meant the jokes worked, why then at the following event those same jokes didn't go down in the same way, was it me or the audience? Whatever the reason, I am yet to tread the boards once more.
Summer came and went without me doing a great deal other than attending my usual fortnightly writing group meeting. Myself included we all felt as if we were getting a little stagnant in our approach to writing and so decided to once more entertain ourselves at the hands of Mr Stephen Tuffin. This second attendance provided us with another opportunity to see what the great man could bring to the table this time round. Suffice to say we were disappointed and he gave us some great tasks to do both in and out of the classroom. I particularly enjoyed the warming up parts of the classes; these were twenty minutes of ad-hoc writing with just three words given to us to include in the story. My personal favourite was the lesson in which Mr Tuffin gave each of us a colour chart provided by B&Q. Again, we were asked to write a 100 word story including three colours from the chart. This really was the most fun I'd ever had with DIY.
On November 12th my best friend Steve got married to his lovely girlfriend Kate. The whole day went off without a hitch, and I was honoured to serve as the 2nd best man. This may seem a little odd to most people but the reason for this was that the main best man felt he would not be able to manage presenting a Best man speech; this is where I came in. With my background in writing I found it quite easy to create and subsequently deliver the speech.
December was probably the most uneventful month of the year, although the prospect of going to see Milton Jones live at MECA made up for it all. The man is a one liner genius, and it was great to see him for real at last. He manages to make pun filled jokes about almost anything, and with the venue sold out made for a hugely entertaining evening. You can see a full review of this show elsewhere on my blog.
This leads me to the very end of the year and so to Christmas and New Year. This was nowhere near as much fun as the rest of the year, and the only proper TV highlight had to be Charlie Brooker's News Wipe review of the year.
So what about 2012, will I do stand up in 2012?, will I go back to college once more?, we'll have to wait and see. One thing I do know is that I'll keep writing.
To be honest not a lot really happens in my life from one year to the next, and 2011 wasn't much more exciting than most...except for this;
After attending an advanced creative writing course at my local college (New College, Swindon) between September and November 2010 I was asked to join a writing group. This was made up of some of my fellow students from that course. This turned out to have two benefits; the first was the opportunity to keep in touch with the friends I had made through the course, and the second meant having the impetus to keep on writing, with an added bonus of gaining feedback on anything I'd managed to write every fortnight. I found this to be both challenging and exciting. The other thing of course was that I was able to keep up and in touch with those I consider my peers. I must also mention my tutor Mr Stephen Tuffin. I look upon this man as both amazing and great (to quote Naveed in Radio 4's Fags Mags and Bags). Without his encouragement I would probably not have continued to write. Not only is he a great teacher he is also a great storyteller. I consider it a real pleasure to know this man, and his course provided me with some brilliant advice and some very funny Wednesday evenings. Whilst at college someone told me about a writing competition I might have been interested in. As it turned out I was very interested when I learnt it was a sit-com writing competition. I had been writing one for a while (still am) and decided what the hell, I'll give it a go. The outcome wasn't positive but the experience certainly was. On reflection I can safely say I didn't write the episode I could have.
Initially I went to college to see if I was capable of keeping my newly discovered talent for writing alive; it did and I haven't looked back since. The other thing it provided was the knowledge that the things I wrote with a humorous bent were actually funny. It became clear that I could put funny things in my characters mouths and get away with (only words). This brings me to the biggest achievement of the year, if not my life;
After deliberating the cost incurred I decided I wanted to learn how to craft jokes, in order to enhance my funny stories. I've always taken a sideways view of life and signing up for a Stand up comedy course meant I could share this with the immediate world around me.
I knew what I was getting myself into but didn't really understand the full magnitude of it. In some ways I thought I'd be able to get away with learning how to craft jokes and not have to go through with the final performance part of it; however, after being on that course for the first two weeks I realised I must go through with it. It paid off in the end as you can see from the video at the bottom of this page. Again, it has to be said that without the support and friendship the course tutor (Sarah Archer) showed her students I don't think I'd have gone through with it. Its funny how, when you tell people you are going to do Stand up, the responses you get; "Oh, I couldn't do it", or "I'd rather jump out of a plane". For that reason I didn't tell anyone at work until after I'd gone through with it. I felt I could tell the members of my writing group as I somehow thought only they would take me seriously. You could say I didn't think my work colleagues would show the same confidence in me that the writing group would. They do say comedy is a serious business, and they're not wrong. It is certainly harder than people think; but not as hard as being a fireman, a nurse, a police officer or a trapeze artist.
So those are my accomplishments throughout the year. They do, of course only count for a very small part of the year. The rest of it was made up of seeing people who have already achieved most of the things they've worked towards. I am talking of course of the bands, comedians and other entertainers I have seen this year;
The first person I went to see perform was Mark Steel, in February at The Wyvern Theatre. He is without doubt one of my favourite comedians, and although I hadn't seen him live before I still knew what to expect. At the time he was touring his 'Mark Steel's in Town' show. This had worked very well for him as a Radio 4 show, and by then it was into its second series. Having listened to this show from the beginning I was under the (deluded) impression that this performance might have been recorded as part of the third series. But alas, no, that didn't turn out to be the case. Poor old Swindon, we missed out again.
What we didn't miss out on though was the appearance of punk royalty at MECA. In April one of the first bands to perform in the old bingo hall was The Buzzcocks. In my opinion they were one of the best punk bands from the original movement. They played the sort of songs you didn't expect from a punk band; songs of lost love, infidelity and Fast Cars. What more could a young man want out of a punk band? (well, apart from anarchy, and smashing the establishment, of course). Of course when I say young man I don't mean me (I was too young in 1976 and am too old now).
From May until now it seems to have been nothing but work work work. Saying that though there were a few things happening; for instance in June I was asked by my comedy tutor to do a support slot on her next showcase event. Unfortunately for me this did not go down as well as I'd hoped, and, as you can imagine my ego was slightly bruised. I wasn't deterred and tried again on an open mic night. Depending on your point of view, if my five minute showcase audience were laughing at my set you'd imagine that meant the jokes worked, why then at the following event those same jokes didn't go down in the same way, was it me or the audience? Whatever the reason, I am yet to tread the boards once more.
Summer came and went without me doing a great deal other than attending my usual fortnightly writing group meeting. Myself included we all felt as if we were getting a little stagnant in our approach to writing and so decided to once more entertain ourselves at the hands of Mr Stephen Tuffin. This second attendance provided us with another opportunity to see what the great man could bring to the table this time round. Suffice to say we were disappointed and he gave us some great tasks to do both in and out of the classroom. I particularly enjoyed the warming up parts of the classes; these were twenty minutes of ad-hoc writing with just three words given to us to include in the story. My personal favourite was the lesson in which Mr Tuffin gave each of us a colour chart provided by B&Q. Again, we were asked to write a 100 word story including three colours from the chart. This really was the most fun I'd ever had with DIY.
On November 12th my best friend Steve got married to his lovely girlfriend Kate. The whole day went off without a hitch, and I was honoured to serve as the 2nd best man. This may seem a little odd to most people but the reason for this was that the main best man felt he would not be able to manage presenting a Best man speech; this is where I came in. With my background in writing I found it quite easy to create and subsequently deliver the speech.
December was probably the most uneventful month of the year, although the prospect of going to see Milton Jones live at MECA made up for it all. The man is a one liner genius, and it was great to see him for real at last. He manages to make pun filled jokes about almost anything, and with the venue sold out made for a hugely entertaining evening. You can see a full review of this show elsewhere on my blog.
This leads me to the very end of the year and so to Christmas and New Year. This was nowhere near as much fun as the rest of the year, and the only proper TV highlight had to be Charlie Brooker's News Wipe review of the year.
So what about 2012, will I do stand up in 2012?, will I go back to college once more?, we'll have to wait and see. One thing I do know is that I'll keep writing.
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