Charles Bronson film actor or prisoner, what's the difference

A few weeks ago I was talking to a colleague about a criminal known as Charles Bronson.  Having forgotten that apart from the film actor there was a second Charles Bronson who was put in prison for a crime he was unable to fully realise, or get away with, as it turned out.  What follows is a daft imagining from the recesses of my brain as to how he ended up in prison...

The director of the Death Wish films, Michael Winner, should really be put in prison as well, just for merely being a part of such a heinous crime against film making.

But wait, did I hear you right?  Not that Charles Bronson you say!  Not even Archie Bronson (whoever he is) would have committed such unlawful acts; but I digress.
It’s the other Charles Bronson, the ‘star’ of the bio-pic Bronson, named, funnily enough after his original boxing alias.  Now I know who you mean.
Even though he is renowned as the ‘most dangerous inmate’ in Britain, it really wasn’t the case at first.  This hard man began a seven year sentence, initially for a little bit of robbing and beating up any ponces that get in the way of his newly found boxing career.
Like all criminals, Charles’s initial foray into crime was a simple robbery; what Charles didn’t account for was that he may get caught.  As fate would have it, this is exactly what happened when he decided to hold a little post office.
What he initially planned to be a breeze, ended up in farce;
‘So, there I was, all ready for an easy life and what happens?  Well, some mug comes into the Post Office and interrupts my flow, the bastard’.
Of course, when he says flow, what he really means is his robbery patoir.  This basically consisted of patiently standing in line with all the olds, waiting for their weekly pension payout, until it gets to his turn and he can explain that ‘this is a stick up!’  This was where the problem really began.  Poor Charles, and I do mean poor (why else do you think he turned to crime?), had spent days rehearsing his ‘stick-em up’ speech, and when he finally gets to put it into action he gets interrupted by some old dear behind him;
‘Are you going to be long dear?’ The old lady said.
He was right in the middle of it and by all accounts going really well (even though the old lady wasn’t available for comment).
‘It’s just; I have to get back to my George.  He’ll be wondering where I am.  Its nearly time for his lunch you know’. 
‘Don’t you worry love; this’ll be over and done with in a flash’.
‘That’s nice to know, because I can’t keep him waiting’.
 He may be a nutter in prison, but on the outside (when he’s actually there) he’s very considerate.  So said his ex-wife.
‘What you going on about, you mad old thing’.
‘I may be mad dear, but I’m not as old as you think’.
This went on for another ten minutes, and in that time the Police had been called and the lady behind the counter had put the kettle on, prepared a Pot Noodle and made a long distance call to her brother in Australia.
In the end he thought – sod this – and persuaded the few people in front of him to part with the money they had on them, including some change.
Being pension day that left him with a grand total of £73.29 and even some of the change was in pesetas and francs, and as we all know they ain’t any good to no-one, to coin a phrase.