Deal or No Deal

As entertainment goes, Deal or no Deal does absolutely nothing for me.  However, just for my own entertainment, I decided to write the following sketch.  Well, it seemed more entertaining than the programme itself.

Noel; This is John from Croydon. Welcome John.
John; Thanks Noel.  Can we get on with this then?
Noel; Of course John, if you wish.  Do you have a strategy? You must have a strategy, everyone has to have one.  I do.
John; Yes, pick a box with a nice sum in it and get the hell out of here.
Noel; Well we want you to go away from here with something.
John; Yeah, that's why I'm going to take the first big sum that comes up and run to the boozer as quick as i can, and piss the lot up the wall.
Noel; That sounds like a great idea.  I tell you what, if i give you the number of the box that has £20,000 in it now we can all get home a bit earlier than usual. How about that?
John; I can go with that. I wont be too hasty though.  Lets have a few numbers first, for the hell of it.
Noel; OK John, its your game.
John; Damn right its my game.  This is being recorded right?
Noel; Yes John.  Which number are going to pick?
John; Right then, my first number will be 12.
Noel; Lets see whats in the box.  Please open box number 12 and reveal the value.
The person stood behind the box takes off the ribbon and a boxing glove on a spring jumps out and knocks them out.
John; That was a surprise.  I'm glad it wasn't me stood there, i hate surprises
Noel; I'm glad you said that because that's one of the tamer surprises in this episode.
John; Can you just tell me the number, I'll take the money and be on my way...to Pissville.
Noel; OK John, the number you need is...not 1. Its not even box number 20.
John; I told you I don't like surprises, so just get on with it. 
Noel; I'll be honest John I can't just tell you, I have to know your strategy, even if its just a case of selecting each box in order from 1 to 20.
John; There is no strategy.  There is never a strategy. No-one has ever had a strategy, even if they said they did. This isn't battleships you know.  I'm not even sure if the banker exists.
Noel; He does, he's my only friend.  Hearing his voice keeps me centred. Please, i really need to know your strategy, just tell me you have one and what it is, please!
John; Blimey you really do live for this crap don't you.  No wonder you're still doing it.
Noel; Its all i have.
John; You really are the sad little gnome-like goblin I always thought you were. Can i just have the box number with £20,00 and we can get out of here.  
Noel; Can I come with you to this 'Pissville'? It sounds wondrous. You get the money, I get to experience something new, is it a deal or no deal?
John; We'll see.
Noel; The box number is 14.
The person stood behind box number 14 opens it and shows that there is a ticket with £20,00 written on it.
Noel; Can i say it now?
John; If you have to.
John walks over to the person holding the ticket and starts heading towards the exit.  Noel calls to him; Deal or No Deal?
John turns back and says to Noel, "No deal, bye"