Water (stones) Off a Duck’s Back

Just a few days ago I went to my local shopping centre to spend the five pound gift voucher I’d been given as a Secret Santa present.  The voucher was for the book shop Waterstones.  My intention was to buy one of the many great titles by the American humourist David Sedaris.  Having enjoyed many of his recitals on the Radio 4 programme 'Meet David Sedaris' I decided it was time to actually buy one of his books. 
And so, having checked the Waterstones website for the availability of his latest title I ventured forth to the shop.  When I got there I made my way up the stairs to the first floor, and headed for the shop’s humour section.  After all having been billed as a humourist it seemed likely I’d find his books there.  This, it seemed was an incorrect assumption to make, as having scanned the section there were none there. 
Being the (almost) sane and rational person that I am I surmised that I must be looking in the wrong area.  Returning to the ground floor I headed for the ‘A – Z of Author’ section.  Unfortunately this turned out to be wrong as well, and I was still unable to find what I came in for.  Turning on my heel I was approached by a member of staff.  She asked me if I was O.K., to which I replied ‘yes but I am unable to find a book by the humourist David Sedaris’
At this juncture I was thinking ‘great, some service, this is sure to solve my conundrum’.  And yes, if you’re reading this you may well be thinking the same thing.  But, alas more is to come that almost puts pay to that theory.  Helpful as she was, this (so-called) customer adviser only went so far in bringing the joy of literature to my hands.  For you see, when I said the name David Sedaris she looked at me as if I’d just said your hair is like a ball of wool, and your face is like a knitting pattern.  There was a real lack of knowledge behind the look.  And when she asked me to spell it I had the option of going for two sarcastic answers; ‘I.T.’ or ‘D.A.V.I.D.’, instead I politely spelled out S.E.D.A.R.I.S, and when I said he’d recently had a programme broadcast on BBC Radio 4 she might as well have offered me a seat, a cup of tea and a biscuit; because, apparently, only old people listen to that station. Once before when I told someone I’d listened to something on Radio 4 I was met with the response of ‘oh yes my Granddad listens to that’, as if to say I’m not yet old enough to expose myself to the more cultured side of broadcasting.  Continuing with the search for the book, she helpfully offered to have a look on their computer system to see if it was in stock.  ‘We have one copy of that in the ‘Humour’ section, she informed me.  I must have missed it, I thought to myself.  An awkward silence followed which now created a little confusion and a slight stand off between us.  Seeing as she is the shop assistant and I’m the customer I thought she was going to provide me with the next level of assistance by offering to get it for me.  I must have misunderstood the principles of customer service with this one because that silence continued on its merry way, and it was then down to me to suggest I go back up the stairs for a second look.  And just like the stairs, for the second time I still did not find my reward. I did however find a book by another American writer, Demetri Martin.  Further investigation on my little goose chase revealed that the book I was looking for was actually placed in the Biography section.  My holy grail had been found, Hurrah!

The moral of this tale is this; sometimes you have to do ALL the hard work yourself.