Thurday 19th July; Polo’s and Queens of Pop

I would like to take a sideways view of the world today: by that I mean, of all the events that took place today, I looked at them with a skewed vision. When I say all the events, I don’t mean absolutely everything in the whole world, just those immediately impacting on me. 
Firstly, there was the girl at work who was talking about her Polo: as I didn’t hear the conversation from the beginning I thought she was talking about the mint…she did mention a hole after all! Instantly I began to imagine a mint with her sat behind the wheel where the hole usually resides.  Then I though of asking her if it keeps her breath fresh while she’s driving.  Not known for my attempts at surrealist humour in the work place I decided to keep it to myself.
The second thing to appear was the name of a customer, Mrs Godsave: it suddenly made me think of the Queen.  Images of her majesty appeared in my head and her singing the national anthem. I also wondered if this woman, Mrs Godsave ever thought of, or indeed ever been, called the Queen by her family for a joke.
I was in mid conversation with a younger member of my team when suddenly she said ‘I’m bored of this’. To which I responded ‘this conversation?’ I have to say I felt a little bit annoyed by this, just for the simple fact I’d only been talking for a matter of moments.  So, just to get back at her I pretended to rant at her about it. She realised what I was doing and went on to inform me that ‘it isn’t you it’s me’ Don’t get me wrong but I thought that speech was reserved for couples breaking up not a reason for telling someone they’re boring. She told me it’s a thing that happens with everyone she converses with, even her own boyfriend.  She then proceeded to suggest she had the memory span of a fish; another good reason to move onto the repeating what they’ve just said thing a few times.
In the latter half of my working day, a few other team mates were talking about the 27 club. For those that are not aware of this, it is the aptly named club for famous people that had died at the age of 27; recent entrants include Amy Winehouse.  Somehow this moved onto a contestant of The Voice U.K. who had professed to be very good friends of Ms Winehouse.  I am rather cynical when it comes to people on talent shows informing us of their ‘friends’.  For all we know this person could have simply been a member of the late Amy’s Facebook group.  So, without hesitation I said “I’m friends with Madonna” and then said “If I ever think of having kids I’ll ask my good friend Madonna to pick one out of her Malawian adoption catalogue” I was awarded with stony silence for a few moments and then the question came “why Malawian?”